Monday, October 01, 2007

Trials, Tribulations, and Crises of Faith

Trials...not necessarily my favorite part of being a Christian. God's Word says they will come, and we know they will come, and then we act surprised when they do! Well, I do, anyways. Trials come in various shapes and sizes-some are big, some small..but they all feel big. I go through these "crises of faith" as I call them. They don't make me question my Christianity, but they make me question my faith in God. Do I really believe Him, do I really take Him at His word? Too many times the answer is "no, I don't." I'd like to tell you all that I do. I'd like to tell you that I pray your faith is as strong as mine...but if I did, my close friends who know the truth would laugh at me! I struggle. My faith falters. But, my God does not. His word IS truth, His promises ARE true, no matter what I am going through. No matter what I FEEL.

God allows us to go through trials and trying times so that we lean on Him. He wants us to grow in character and in faith. He desires us to go deeper with Him, and that usually can only come through what seems to us to be fierce storms of life. Trials and tests of our faith. I want the character, and I want to be refined, but I want it the easy way. But, I tell you what, this time of the testing of my faith has caused me to go deeper with God, to fall on my knees in surrender day after day. To seek God until I find Him, just to get me through some days! But, He is good. He comes to my rescue. I know He has a purpose.

My girls always are asking me why I have to read my Bible and spend time with God. And, I always tell them that I won't be a good mommy if I don't. Well, last week I had a "not so good" attitude day! As the day was ending, I apologized to my little Lizzie, telling her I was sorry for being grumpy. She said she thought she knew why I was grumpy. When I asked why, she said, "Mommy, did you spend time with God today?" I had to be honest and tell her I didn't. I asked her if she thought that was why I had a hard day, and she said, "Yep. It is, mom. Do you want me to go get your Bible for you?" :) They are watching us, and they will see what comes of our faith or lack of it. I want to be found faithful.

"Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24)

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