Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Okay, where is that verse that talks about God not giving you more than you can handle? hee, hee... This morning I woke up to all 3 of my kids sick. Actually, to say I woke up to it is not quite right, since Nehemiah and I hardly slept last night due to him not feeling well! Poor baby-it's his first taste of this fallen world...well, maybe not quite his first, considering all the poking and prodding they did on him in the hospital, not to mention his circumcision...okay, so not his first taste of this fallen world, but his first taste of being sick. I hate that his life will be full of this.
So, anyways, back to that verse...all 3 kids are sick (I'm sounding repetetive, I know...just hang in there with me; the story WILL end), I have 3 giant cold sores on my bottom lip-due to stress and being sick myself, I'm still recovering from my mastitis...Lord, My Cup Is Full, thank you! I suppose I can look at times like this and say, "I must need some serious refining from the Lord." Okay, Lord, bring it on. If it's what I need, I take it all as from you.
I'd like to say I excel spiritually in these times, that I soar on wings like eagles, that I run and don't grow weary. But, more often than not, I fail!! I get tired and discouraged and grumpy. I have a dear friend, Christina, who I love to death. She is a woman of the Word, and is such an encourager. Whenever I talk to her and I'm sick, she get's so excited that God has given me down time to spend in His word! She usually is saying that as I am flipping the channels on the big silver box of entertainment and joy! So, I hear her words ring in my ears everytime I get sick. "Think of all the time you have to spend in the Word." I love having friends like that. They challenge me. They push me to never settle. I need them!
Okay, well, I will try to keep the kids on the couch today and resting. (I have to wrangle them to rest!!) Iwill hold the baby, keep applying Abreeva to my lips, popping my antibiotics, and hopefully spend some time in the Word learning whatever the Lord wants me to learn from this! Refine me, Lord. You surely know I need it!!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Here is a little mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their
pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God, and the body in
which it dwells is worth all it will cost, since it is abode of a kingly tenant.
I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all. Yes, my
precious baby, you are welcome to your mother’s heart, welcome to her time, her
strength, her health, to her most tender cares, to her life-long prayers! Oh how
rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!
~ Elizabeth Prentiss’ Stepping Heavenward
Well, it's been a month tomorrow since our life was blessed with Nehemiah. He's such a handsome boy, if I do say so myself. He likes to be held-alot. As a matter of fact, if you put him down, he will let you know just how much he's not happy about it! I suppose it could be part of his manhood. He's trying to assert his authority-the way God made it! Or, maybe he's a sensitive type that just likes to be held and cuddled! Whatever the case, he's mine and I like to hold him. I know about "baby wise" and I do let him cry here and there when I have to, but you know-time just goes by too quickly for me. He's already one month old. My girls are already 6 and 4. And, Shane assures me with great seriousness that this IS our last child. I won't go into my feelings on that for now, but I want to enjoy this time. So, for now, at one month old, he is being spoiled! Can't help it.
What a wild month it's been! In a nutshell, you have the basics of a new baby-sleepless nights, lots of poopy, being peed on several times (it IS a boy), not getting much done around the house, frozen waffles, you know...then add to that, bed bugs or some sort of bug that likes to munch on Lizzie at night, and most recently, mastitis (a milk gland infection that leaves you with a high fever and feeling like you have the flu). Just the challenges of getting used to a newborn in the house again. And, yet, here he is-almost not a newborn anymore!
I suppose my biggest struggle has been not being able to keep up with my expectations for myself. Nobody else seems to have them for me. I have struggled with not being able to be a supermom and have the house perfect, keep the baby happy, start homeschooling, do crafts everyday with the girls, and cook gourmet meals for my family everyday while having a dynamic devotional time with the Lord and having His patience and joy and love flowing from me like a bubbling brook, oh-and I'd like to completely redecorate my home-you know, finish all my projects. Now, I really don't see that as unrealistic, do you? Yes, I can be ridiculous in my expectations on myself. I'm learning that. A dear friend of mine gave me the book, "Seasons of a Mother's Heart" to read. I've been reading it and am blessed. It's just what I've needed. The reality is that I am tired; I do not have money to redo my house; if I get 10 minutes with God, it's a good day; frozen meals are easy, if not necessarily healthy for my family right now; my house looks extremely "lived in"; most of my clothes don't fit yet; I have an occassional breakdown from feeling overwhelmed--and it's OKAY!
My favorite blog (besides realpyro.blogspot.com, of course!) is www.humblemusings.com . She cracks me up and encourages me and so many others. Her latest blog is about helping out with a homebirth of a friend of hers. This was a quote from that article:
"By giving herself to raise another daughter, Kristen will lose more of her lifeThat made me cry.
to serve Jesus. My prayer is that she will find her life as she gives it away.
It is the way things ought to be. It is the way He designed it. It is the way of
Thank you to all my friends who have prayed for me and encouraged me. Our church ( www.thepointcommunity.net ) took such good care of us by providing wonderful meals for 2 weeks! We are so thankful for the family we have there. We thank the Lord for this new little life he has given us, for the two he already gave us, and for what He has in store for us. In spite of this season where it can be hard at times, we are greatful.