Tuesday, August 29, 2006

After A Month

Well, it's been a month tomorrow since our life was blessed with Nehemiah. He's such a handsome boy, if I do say so myself. He likes to be held-alot. As a matter of fact, if you put him down, he will let you know just how much he's not happy about it! I suppose it could be part of his manhood. He's trying to assert his authority-the way God made it! Or, maybe he's a sensitive type that just likes to be held and cuddled! Whatever the case, he's mine and I like to hold him. I know about "baby wise" and I do let him cry here and there when I have to, but you know-time just goes by too quickly for me. He's already one month old. My girls are already 6 and 4. And, Shane assures me with great seriousness that this IS our last child. I won't go into my feelings on that for now, but I want to enjoy this time. So, for now, at one month old, he is being spoiled! Can't help it.

What a wild month it's been! In a nutshell, you have the basics of a new baby-sleepless nights, lots of poopy, being peed on several times (it IS a boy), not getting much done around the house, frozen waffles, you know...then add to that, bed bugs or some sort of bug that likes to munch on Lizzie at night, and most recently, mastitis (a milk gland infection that leaves you with a high fever and feeling like you have the flu). Just the challenges of getting used to a newborn in the house again. And, yet, here he is-almost not a newborn anymore!

I suppose my biggest struggle has been not being able to keep up with my expectations for myself. Nobody else seems to have them for me. I have struggled with not being able to be a supermom and have the house perfect, keep the baby happy, start homeschooling, do crafts everyday with the girls, and cook gourmet meals for my family everyday while having a dynamic devotional time with the Lord and having His patience and joy and love flowing from me like a bubbling brook, oh-and I'd like to completely redecorate my home-you know, finish all my projects. Now, I really don't see that as unrealistic, do you? Yes, I can be ridiculous in my expectations on myself. I'm learning that. A dear friend of mine gave me the book, "Seasons of a Mother's Heart" to read. I've been reading it and am blessed. It's just what I've needed. The reality is that I am tired; I do not have money to redo my house; if I get 10 minutes with God, it's a good day; frozen meals are easy, if not necessarily healthy for my family right now; my house looks extremely "lived in"; most of my clothes don't fit yet; I have an occassional breakdown from feeling overwhelmed--and it's OKAY!

My favorite blog (besides realpyro.blogspot.com, of course!) is www.humblemusings.com . She cracks me up and encourages me and so many others. Her latest blog is about helping out with a homebirth of a friend of hers. This was a quote from that article:
"By giving herself to raise another daughter, Kristen will lose more of her life
to serve Jesus. My prayer is that she will find her life as she gives it away.
It is the way things ought to be. It is the way He designed it. It is the way of
the Master."
That made me cry.

Thank you to all my friends who have prayed for me and encouraged me. Our church ( www.thepointcommunity.net ) took such good care of us by providing wonderful meals for 2 weeks! We are so thankful for the family we have there. We thank the Lord for this new little life he has given us, for the two he already gave us, and for what He has in store for us. In spite of this season where it can be hard at times, we are greatful.

1 comment:

Brad said...

Praise the Lord I'm not alone. We all feel like this. The great thing is, the Lord covers us on our short commings and His grace seems to blind the kids of having "missed" out on the extra fun things we had in mind. You know that this is just a season, which will pass before you know it, then you can jump right back into being the supper mom you know you are. I think your great! Love ya sis-
(sorry that your hopes were crashed when you realized that it was me and not Brad saying he loved you! :)