So, it's Monday. It was a good day. Kids were well behaved, house got "cleaned", errands got ran. However, my mood has not been so great the past few hours..not sure why..could be the diet (ah-why do lack of carbs leave me feeling grouchy?) , could be the weather (rainy and dreary), could be that doggone house in Kentucky still not selling. It could be the time I spent online today trying to find ideas for our new rental house (that we can't paint or hang anything with nails on the wall-are you feeling sorry for me yet?)...which I think left me more depressed, because of all the amazing ideas I found that require paint and nails.
I mean, it's small things like that that can throw my day off...me, who has lived overseas and "suffered"through cold water showers and squatty potties to mention just a few things...those days seem too far away. Ack-and then I think of Chris and Evie Jones, committing the next 20 YEARS to plant a church in a tribe in Papau, New Guinea..giving up everything. It's surprising God hasn't taken me yet. And, I don't say that lightly. I know it is ONLY the grace of God that I don't get struck with lightning or worse every time I step out my door. Pastor Larry says "We live under the smile of God." That comforts me, and you'd understand the depth of that if you saw inside my heart.
But, something has left me in a funk...a feeling sorry for myself, blah, moody funk. So, I think it's time today to start listing things God has given me, that I am thankful for. I have to get through the rest of the night...I still have dinner (well, it's in the oven) and exercising ahead of me tonight! Still have children to cuddle with, husband to serve. I need thankfulness, contentment. Once again, why do these things evade me so quickly? Why do I so quickly find myself going from good mood to "in the depths of despair?" (as Anne of Green Gables would say)
Yesterday celebrated not only our Lord's resurrection from the grave-He is Risen! Hallelujah! It also celebrated 31 years of salvation for me. He saved me, redeemed my life from the pit. At a young age, He called me unto Himself. Is that not reason enough to live life fully, with eyes wide open to every blessing that surrounds me? Do I ever need despair again? But, I do. And, I do it so quickly. Nothing major need set me off. 31 years of God's faithfulness and kindess and patience. Yes, I have MORE than I deserve. So, here I am, once again asking forgiveness, once again needing to remind myself of ALL He has given me, the big and "small" blessings. The need for peace in my heart and joy in all He has done.
"...that I'd day after day greedily take what looks like its good from Your hand-a child gloating over sweet candy...but that I'd thrash wild to escape when what You give from your hand feels bad-like gravel in the mouth. Oh, Father, forgive...Should I accept good from you, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) (Anne Voskamp)
306. a free refrigerator for our new rental home
307. a free stove for our new rental home
308. a farmhouse to rent, complete with free range chickens (a country girl's delight)
309. that I KNOW (even when I don't FEEL) that His ways are higher than mine
310. a gift card to a local coffee shop
311. kids who are learning to be thankful, too
312. my dear friend, Elizabeth, who is always one step 'ahead' of me in learning to be content, and deals with life as it comes, steady in her emotions..a true gift of a friend to this 'too easily carried away with her emotions' gal
313. walls and a roof to protect us from the storms
314. running water
315. plenty of good food-we have never been hungry, not one day
316. hands to do dishes with-who needs a dishwasher anyways? :)
317. children with hands to do dishes :)
318. God's Word-a light to my path
319. our "vacation lake house" for the last nine months-what a refreshing time it has been
320. that I live under His smile, even when I KNOW I don't deserve it-what a gracious God He is
321. that my 'feelings' are not the end of the story
322. child hugs
323. that I have the freedom to homeschool
324. that we have so much stuff-we have been so blessed- we have to sell some of it or give it away several times a year
325. that this world is not my real home
326. carbohydrates..even in a small amount :)
327. big, strong, manly, yet tender (husband) hugs
328. fruit...thank you, God, for fruit!
329. baby turtles (I had never seen one before today..just a hatchling..the cutest thing!) Thanks for sharing, Devin!
330. ice in my drink (Europe doesn't know what they're missing!)
331. 31 years of God's saving grace